keyed in: May 2006

the grouch once called himself a simple man who liked pretty things. what an admirable thing to be it seems to me. living in brooklyn. working in advertising. tons of fun with a slender frame and few cases of wit. drink up.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006


While Long Island is literally thousands of miles away from what I call home, it might as well be the next town over. I thought I was in Milton-Freewater, OR (If you know where this is, may god bless your soul). Anyway everything west of Jamaica Queens and east of the Hamptons looks like a series of very quaint towns in the deep south. The people however, are definitely New Yorkers. They have Long Island accents, which sound a little less guido then Jersey accents yet much harder than the mid-western flavored upstate accents. New York city does not have its own accent, as it is a combination of 8 million interpretations of English. But back to Long Island. Here in the city LI gets a bad rap, together with Jersey any people coming into the city from either location are labeled as the, “bridge and tunnel crowd.” It is a negative connotation that may not be deserved, but is in fact supported by several forms of evidence. Still, I hold no ill will toward anyone from LI or Jersey. Though it is much easier to say this now that I am no longer a server. Regardless, some damn funny comments were heard during my brief stay.

“Your breath smells funny.”

“A Mets hat huh, I hope you like swimming because you’re going in.”

“Well shit, I haven’t seen ya since ya got knocked up.”

“Why are Puerto Ricans so good at baseball…because it’s the only sport they can steal in.”

“Ahhh let her drink, she’ll be 21 in a few years.”

“Sic em’ boy…good dog.”

“You loosened my engagement ring you little fuck.”

(80 yr. old woman to Marcus) “You’re a bum.”

Dating in the work place-A recent recommendation

"Avoid it at all costs."


Waking up is not always cool. Sometimes people make it look cool, see Weiden’s Nike, “Awake” spot for that. However, waking up has been great for me lately. This weekend every time I woke up I was checking my watch to see how long I had to wait before killing myself. I can tell you truthfully it was not a long wait. Though, like all weekends, it ended. But another one is coming right around the corner, which is good.

As for the weekdays, waking up has become something new entirely. It has become a team sport. Marcus and I now rise around the same time. If I’m lucky he’s already in the shower and has laid out his clothes for the day, so I can laugh at his imaginary body sprawled across a lazy boy. Then I hit the shower, at which point I am truly awake.

Then there’s the afternoon. This is where this waking thing becomes complicated. It usually hits between 3 and 4pm. The weird thing about waking up at this time is that I haven’t gone to sleep. At least not yet, therein lies the reason for needing a waking. As anyone who stares at online text all day can tell you, it is prone to cause drowsiness. Severe drowsiness. Eating a large lunch will not help the matter. Neither will eating nothing at all. In fact it seems nothing can stop me from getting tired at this point of the day.

Suggestions are welcomed.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Former roomates miss list

Kristi bunk-bed tents
PC99 the porch
Riley firewater fables
Lester “damn it asplund”
James sanctuary kegs
James and riley 151 Saturday mornings
James and jeff one dart
Robbie and Brian the view
Robbie jenn choi
Robbie and nick Robbie leaving
Nick coming home to a new quote on the board


Have you ever been watched, I am. With my back to the crowd I sit, unusually unloud. I look for things to write though they seem to be avoiding me; for now. So what else, craft things for craft’s sake. Love this new song called “later,” probably because it feels like it was written for me. I look around at my new dvd friends, complete with their special features and alternate endings. Fingernails you’ve nowhere to hide. Keep staring at a girl who’s staring in another direction. She’s also made of paper. Unlike me, but recent gains have been well received. Wonderbras don’t care if you read the economist or not. There’s a girl in Oklahoma right now thinking about a nice boy. The muppet show has been cancelled, but the two geezers live on vicariously through my off hours. Typing is overrated. Piping’s not. Marc bailed on the mets to see the state that started a nation. Dumb. I meant fun. No x-ray vision yet but I’ve been picking up some flourescent uv rays. Constantly getting hard in the middle of playing hard to get. Juggling who’s that with how much can they handle. In case you didn’t know, this is some iceberg shit. Not Z-Jay; Hemingway. Matters of course has the best chance.trabajo

chewing gum green

What can a button lead to? Probably a lot if you’re talking about a computer. Quite possibly more if you’re talking about one holding up a pair of pants. It was a beautiful ceramic button found near the midriff of a much more beautiful girl. And while I don’t think we’ll be making beautiful music anytime soon, we did sneak into a concert and listen to some. She exclaimed that she’d never have the balls to do something like that. I told her she was born without balls anyway, so it was better to leave that kind of thing up to me. Got langhorn slimmed with no fog in sight. Had a chat, a few laughs, caught a train and called it a night.

Monday, May 15, 2006

we'd like to make you an offer

that's word to the slant on my sea-town fitted

global warming

no joke


orthodox baseball

OH pink

like there's only one

going higher v. falling farther





4 fun