more messages...

the new message

and the messages that follow...

and the messages that follow...

thinking on the job...

ah finally a second to think. you know, i gaurantee my next boss won't talk to me like a man whose brain cost $50,000+. gosh student loans suck. i mean they're great and all but i either pay em back or donate my brain to science. i wish they'd lose my paperwork. or if they thought i died, then i wouldn't have to pay them back. plus i'd have that whole, "young artists who die tragically become revered and treasured as geniuses," thing going for me. yeah. then i could get a job as the head copywriter at anywhere i wanted because i write in that hot new "bengt," style as a tribute to the man who revolutionized the advertising world posthumously.

EXCUSE ME WAITER, CAN I GET SOME MORE ICE TEA OVER HERE?

a martoon

half man, half cartoon. i was unaware of his double existence until he dropped his bag of trash to cover his face and giggle at me. he certainly was a cartoon. he pointed at this and that while laughing into the inside of his coveralls. then he picked up the trash, held it like a ready samuri sword and took off down the hill. i thought it was over, but after not finding what i what i needed in the Japan Center, he reappeared. again pointing at this and that while laughing into the inside of his coveralls. then he picked up a new bag of trash, held it like a ready samuri sword and took off down the hill. i think he walked out of an anime film and got a job. more bums should be martoons.

cinnamon role dog sh*t

the bike hut.

the bike hut is a wonderful and miraculous place where two-wheel dreams are realized. i learned of it first from jared a large shinned friend of mine. it is at the bike hut i purchased, what is now known as, "the green streak."
being as that i'm not a very good bike mechanic, i have found myself back at the hut for minor problems. the head honcho at the hut is victor. victor is the kind of guy who decides if he wants to fuck with you after the first glance. in that way he is similar to a mechanic i know about, though only fictitiously. regardless, victor has hooked me up. the 1976 schwinn varsity, victor. the first tube and three free spokes, victor. other repairs, victor.
then one day i hit the hut and victor had called in a sub. he spoke with the same accent as my friend jamie, this was already good news. he continued to talk my ear off about his most recent bike problems; in depth. i wondered if he and james were cousins. his name was monroe and while his story was enthralling, it wasn't something i fully understood. too much bike talk on his end with not enough bike knowledge on mine.
i was barely awake when i asked a question that lit a fire under monroe's ass. "so where's your friend victor?" he stopped working on my bike, looked me in the eye and said, "He ain't no friend of mine!" i dropped the whole talking thing right then and there. just to be sure. plus i didn't want him to f*ck with my bike. it was done five minutes later, i gave him ten bones, a smile and a handshake, out.
two days ago i was back at the hut and monroe was playing mr. fix-it for the day. then the second cat in charge strolled through, i have seen him in the mix before. he is the brains of it all but seems to be lazy. jeff (i could be wrong about the name here), looks like the tinkerer of the three. from what i saw, he can make a bike out of a box of tide. he came into the hut after a fresh sale, all smiles. "two more $50 huffy's out the door for burning man." "it's getting to be that time," monroe replied. for the next few minutes they talked about unloading all their one-speeds to the men and women flocking to america's largest party in the desert.
then victor showed up. like typical hatred in the workplace it was not really discussed at large. or at all for that matter. victor arrived, talked to me for two minutes, then gave he me a new copy of the onion and a pat on the back. he then preceded to strike up a conversation with jeff(?). after stepping over monroe of course. jeff and victor talked about "those two girls who just rode by," $50 bikes and how they don't understand those guys who rent RV's with their friends for burning man but don't bring any girls. victor then grabbed a sweet ride out of the back of the hut and peddled off with out saying one word to monroe.
curious is not even scratching the surface.

go get it

last weekend, i was in a dimarini softball bat shoot. the premise of the ad is that these bats hit the ball so long, the entire city has now become the outfield. and for all you ball rights activists out there, i'll have you know that no actual balls were harmed or even caught during the shooting of this ad. unless you count mine which were definitely cramped up in those tight baseball pants. ba-zing.

the board1

the board1
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

so this was the first one. i put the whites in the dryer, looked up and saw this. i was taken immediately since learning kung-fu would be awesome. yet i think i have payed too much to turn away from ads and commit my time to something as hard to learn as kung-fu. still, i am extremely curious about the image and how it ties into kung-fu. is this what a man who wants to learn about kung-fu looks like? is this what the teacher looks like? is carrying stuff on a long stick like that the first step in learning kung-fu? i was intrigued to say the least.

the board2

the board2
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

then one week later, same laundry, new sign. staring the chinese kung-fu poster down was a poster for japanese ju-jitsu. this one had imageS. ones with swords and bad ass martial art faces. it also had a list of what it taught you, so i didn't have to guess about the importance of carrying stuff on sticks. the bar had been raised and you could feel the cultural tension in the laundry room. something had to done.

the board3

the board3
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

while my first thought was "american-drunken-brawl," fighting techniques, joust won in a shoot-out. mine had to have the most images, check. i also incorporated what could be learned, a la the last flier, check. like both the previous posters, jousting would be held at golden gate park on the weekends, check. my flier also pointed out that like kung-fu and ju-jitsu, jousting is, "great for self-defense," check. finally since i am not familiar with the chinese or japanese characters associated with jousting, i just found two "jousty," looking fonts. now we'll just have to see who shows.

why do they put anything else

why do they put anything else
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

watch out katie

watch out katie
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

the painted city

the painted city
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

shine on humphrey

shine on humphrey
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

please

please
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

not making it easier to pee

not making it easier to pee
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

aniyeah

aniyeah
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

almost famous

almost famous
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

sitt'n on tahoe the world

sitt'n on tahoe the world
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

first time staying at this beautiful lake. the house we stayed at was amazing. in many ways the house was the best part of the weekend. cheers to those on the floors. in other ways people watching in casinos was the best part. the bug is rampant is s. lake. small scale sin city with scenery that all the money in vegas couldn't buy.

T2

what would you do?
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

what would you do? the two times my age waitress preferred juggling.

T3

just ten minutes...
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

literally on our way out the door. "just ten minutes..." i watched as her last two dollars went in and it all happened so fast. touched two buttons, hit the wheel; jackpot. it was everything short of pat and vanna.