strong stomach required

strong stomach required
Originally uploaded by rsplund.

last week my girlfriend, her friend and a friend of hers from out of town had dinner. we ate at asia sf, a trendy little spot in soma. this particular restaurant's niche is its wait-staff. aside from being wonderful cocktail waitresses, they are also dancers and men dressed as women. and these are not your average weekend drag-queens either. they are as the mc put so eloquently, "the five miracles of gender-bending science." and from what i saw, two of them were just that. professional tricksters. had i not been in a relationship and at a bar famous for something other than its transsexuals, i can assure i would have hit on two of these men with breasts. unknowingly of course. so every hour on the hour these waitresses put down their trays and climb up on the bar. they each dance to a song of their choice while being hollered at from a diversely sexual audience. the women in the crowd all seemed to be chatting about how these men had better waistlines and breasts than the actual women in the bar. which in my opinion was true. the gay men in the bar were also extremely riled up, which made me wonder if they are attracted to women as long as they are really men underneath it all. the dances/stripteases were intensely sexual and included throwing water on themselves and dancing among the audience. it was truly a sight to behold and lots of fun, i'd recommend it to anyone in the bay area of any sexual orientation. that being said, i have worked in restaurants for years and if i have learned anything, it is that you do not mess with the people who prepare your meals. while the waitresses were dancing, my girlfriend's amiga stole a full corona off the table next to us. this particular corona just happened to belong to the manager. what her motive was i don't know, nor does it matter, it was however seen by several bartenders. these bartenders then told the manager, the bus boys and of course the waitresses of the thievery which had taken place. first a bus boy came and asked us if we wanted desert, then a bartender asked us if we wanted desert, then a waitress asked us if we wanted desert, then three more people asked us if we wanted desert. six times we said, "no thanks." then low and behold they just happen to bring us the most opulent desert on the menu and they said it was on the house. while the other three in my party picked up their spoon and stuffed their face, i emphatically declined. as they were finishing up i turned to the bartender whose look said very clearly, "hey buddy, your girlfriend is eating the bus boy's cum." the moral of course being, don’t steal and tip well.